Archive | November, 2011

On the journey.

2 Nov

Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem.

As I sit here watchingMeccalive on the first day of the month Dhul Hijja after having suhoor and praying fajr, I can’t help but reflect on the amazing journey both Abderraouf and I have been on in the past few years.  His journey, his whole life, has been so remarkably different than mine but Allah has brought us together according to His will.  I never could have imagined this is where I would be in my life.  Before I moved toItaly, I was stuck.  I was unhappy.  I was seemingly content in letting life pass me by without a thought.  Allah changed me on that plane toItaly, I just didn’t know it yet.  Allah already had His plan in place for my life.  He gave me my apartment in the city center, He planned my days, He knew that I would walk by that restaurant that day, and He knew that it would change my life forever.  It would change my life in the best way possible.

Abderraouf was a different person on that day I met him than he is now.  As I watch all the pilgrims inMeccapreparing to pray Asr, I really can’t believe that he is there now.  I can’t believe how his priorities have changed so dramatically.  He may have had the dream to go to hajj one day in his mind, but he thought it was years and years away.  He may have had a fleeting dream to help his parents to attend hajj, but it was just a thought.  Now he’s inSaudi Arabia, praying Asr with millions of other Muslims from around the world, fulfilling one of the pillars of our religion.  He’s helping his parents make tawaf around the Kaba’a and ultimately assisting them in performing their hajj.  I can’t imagine what he’s feeling right now and how happy he must be.

As he partakes in this journey, I can’t help but think about my own journey.  Where I am now is not where I thought I would be five years ago, three years ago, or even last year.  Allah has put so many gifts in my life that I often forget about or ignore.  Never did I think that I would enjoy staying at home and have such a strong desire to be a mother.  When I quit my full time job, I was scared that we weren’t going to be able to have enough money to pay the bills each month.  Not only did Allah help our family have enough money to pay the bills, He put barakah on our money and has given us the gift for Abderraouf to go to hajj, to send his parents to hajj, and to take care of our needs here in the States.  It’s truly incredible.  And with just a little hint of faith, I’ve realized that anything is possible.  Allah doesn’t require us to be the “best” Muslim or have the most faith to give us the things we really need.  In being grateful of these things, I have realized that so many of the things I thought I needed were really just wants.  I have generally lived a comfortable life.  I was never rich, but I was able to do many of the things I wanted.  Now I live in a different income bracket and can’t always do things I want to do (like most people), but I am happier than I’ve ever been.

I know that I have much farther to go on my journey, but ultimately, I’m happy with where I am right now.  I’m happy with the friends I’ve made that have become my Muslim family, I’m happy with our little family and how we’ve grown just in the past two years, and I’m happy with myself.  For the first time in a long time, I can say that I’m happy with myself – where I am and where I’m going.  InshaAllah, I’m on the right path and on my way to even more happiness.

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